I can hardly believe that I first offered the Stepping Stone Digest way back in August 2003. Since then I have tried to ensure that Stepping Stone stays current and changes its look and feel every now and then as I feel a fresh new look is always helpful.

At the moment we are working on a new look and feel website and want to make sure that Stepping Stone follows along the same lines as the website so we may well see even more changes over the next few months.

Since 2003 there have been many changes in my personal and business life also and most of the subscribers to Stepping Stone who have been with me since the beginning know how I got through most of those challenging times. Stepping Stone is quite a personal newsletter in the sense that a lot of the content is centred around me, Linda Ockwell-Jenner. This obviously works well for the subscribers because the feedback is positive and we have new subscribers regularly, and a lot of those are referrals.

This month I wanted to share with you my story of re-connecting with my moms family; her brothers and sisters, their wives and husbands and my cousins, who I have not seen since I was a little girl. Well, apart from my now famous aunty Amy, who I write about in my book, A Life Like Mine. Aunty Amy will be 94 years young in July of this year. For whatever reason my mom really had no desire to stay in contact with my dads family and my dad appeared to feel the same about my moms family. Obviously there were some times when I remember visiting uncles, aunts and playing with my cousins, but as I grew older much of the contact ceased and, sadly, my mom and dad passed away and time moved on.

Through my aunty Amy I kept up with the news of which members of my moms family had passed away and through my brother, somewhat, which members of my dads family had passed away. I always felt a sense of disconnect, I had always wanted to be part of this big family; my mom had 3 sisters and 4 brothers and my dad the same. I had always wanted to get to know my relatives and felt sad that I knew so little about them and one by one, with age and disease they were all dying and soon my chance would be gone.

I knew that time waits for no one so when my aunty Amy informed me last year just before Christmas that another one of my mothers brothers had died, I decided I would phone his wife, my aunty. As this is beginning to look like quite a long story I think I will leave it there and continue with it in the next edition of Stepping Stone. But be prepared, there might be a few tears, and much laughter involved in reading how I was received at the end of a phone in England by my aunty.

My message for those of you out there who are reading this is that try not to leave it too late. If my story is something you can relate to, remember, someone has to make the first move. Someone has to make the first contact and no one lives forever on this earth. Make that contact now, it really is worth it!

The holiday season is fast approaching, the season of goodwill; a time for giving and receiving. The question to ask ourselves is, why save our goodwill for one month of the year? Throughout the year we have so much to be thankful for, so many people in our life who are there for us, why wait for December to spread the goodwill we talk so much about at this time of the year? Remember also that the season of goodwill is not about how much money we spend and how nice our presents are, or even, how many presents we have received; it is about being together for the holiday. It looks like this will be the first time in almost 13 years that my family and I will not experience a white Christmas in our town situated in Ontario, Canada. The sun is shining and it is quite surreal. My husband, Dave, who loves a white Christmas is determined not to let the sunshine dampen his anticipation and Christmas spirit and as this is the first Christmas in our new home we have made an extra special effort to decorate the inside and outside of our home. We feel the sparkling Christmas lights cheer up the cold dark evenings and, even without snow I am sure we will still feel festive and happy surrounded by our family.

Being together for Christmas, is made special, for me, by having my family around me and knowing we are all healthy and content. There are so many people in the world who are suffering from lack of food, money and may be living in war-torn countries, so sparing a thought for the less fortunate does make us feel sad, but also may prompt us to help others in the New Year. This time of year many of us look over the past year at our successes in life and our challenges, and we do this to learn, not to feel we have failed or to have regrets. Knowing how we can move forward in the New Year in our personal and professional lives is only possible if we are honest with ourselves, and with others.

So, in this last Stepping Stone for the year 2006 I would like to wish everyone a very happy holiday and also say thank you to you all for your support and friendship and for continuing to enjoy the Stepping Stone digest. Without the wonderful articles and feedback from the many subscribers around the world Stepping Stone would not be the motivational and topical newsletter that so many people enjoy reading each month. No one person is able to claim success alone, in my opinion, we all need and should welcome the support of others and that is part of what makes the world go around. Happy Holidays and a very Happy New Year and I look forward to sharing the Stepping Stone digest with you all in 2007!

One member of my family, who is quite young, suggested that by laying in such an obvious place on the sidewalk more people might be tempted to give the homeless person money. Someone else thought that maybe they just did not care where they lay down as they were so tired and depressed with the life they had they just wanted to sleep anywhere. Whatever the reason for these people being homeless, laying in the middle of the sidewalk and, sometimes being a nuisance and begging for money, will not help their situation. Thank goodness for the organizations out there and individuals who do go out of their way to help these people; saying that I do hope that these people try and help themselves too and are not living this way of life because they think it is “cool having no responsibilities and being free from everyday workday stresses etc.”

I am not here to judge, as I said earlier I observe people when I have time on my hands and it leads me to a thought process. This experience also reminds me what a wonderful life I have and how lucky I am to have stability and a loving family to look out for me. Saying that my life has not been easy, in fact I will be honest and say it has been a constant struggle and it is only in later years I have felt less stressed and face less challenges. I am responsible for my life being the way it is now, even though there are people in my life who look out for me and care about me, only I could make my life what it is today, if I had no interest in bettering my life no amount of help could change it.

Blessings

The holidays are almost upon us, I like to think of this time as Christmas, but many people today have different ideas what this holiday should be called. In all honesty it really does not matter, in the end it is down to us to make what we will of this special time and think of it as something that has a meaning for us. When my family and I decided to live in Canada we realized that what was quite wonderful about where we now lived was its multiculturalism, its acceptances of peoples differences and the open arms in which we were welcomed and made to feel at home! What a difference this acceptance could make to many other countries around the world if everyone could just think simply that we all have a place on this earth and being different makes us who we are.

My Christmas wish for this year is for Peace on Earth and to hope that the homeless find a warm place to sleep and to accept the help offered to them. I cannot imagine what it would be like to live in a war torn country, or be homeless, I dread to think how I would cope. I believe that many people tend to think more about others at this special time in the year, and then, unfortunately, forget other people have challenges and just get on with their own lives. This is human nature, but there are people who do work all the year around helping others and I would like to extend my thanks to these people and let them know how much they are appreciated. The other thoughts I have at this time are for the people who have to be in hospital and, even though their families might be there with them, it is not quite the same as being at home. Another thank you from me would be to the nurses and doctors who will be working over Christmas, and who will be away from their families at this special time.

I am finding it hard to focus on work at the moment as, like most other people I am running around shopping for Christmas and getting very excited. A couple of years ago Dave, myself and my 4 children decided not to spend quite so much money at Christmas on presents for each other and focus more on the real meaning of Christmas and the most important part for us is being together as a family. We all realise how blessed we are to have each other and have healthy, happy lives. I think that, partly because of my past challenges with breast cancer, my family realised early on that possessions and lots of money do not necessarily mean happy contented lives. Money can take away a lot of the stress we all suffer today, money can buy nice holidays and pay bills etc, but money cannot help make someone happy if they are lonely or sick.

Dave and I had a conversation not long ago about how, years ago, our grandmothers did not have an easy time of it. They did not have washing machines, tumble dryers, microwaves, telephones, cars and other modern conveniences we take so much for granted today. Food seemed to taste nicer back then and we both have memories of tables full of wonderful food, healthy food, not fast-food that so many of us eat today. Home made pies and conservatives, enough food to feed an army. Yet, bills still had to be paid, but I have no recollection of my grandparents worrying about paying credit card bills or being behind with the rent. How did they manage I have often wondered. Maybe it is because they did not have all the things we want so much today, want and not need, two different things!

I believe we should all try and simplify our lives in some way, take away some of the stress we talk so much about.  There is good stress and bad stress, we all know that, but in order to eliminate some of the bad stress think of ways you can carry on your everyday life without creating additional stress — I am sure we can all manage that if we think about it!

October is breast cancer awareness month and what a busy time it is for me. My birthday is in October, and this year, to my astonishment I celebrated my birthday with a surprise I was not expecting in the least! I received a letter in the mail on the Friday before my birthday to say I had been nominated for the Kitchener-Waterloo Oktoberfest Rogers Women of the Year 2005 Award in the category of Health & Wellness. To be acknowledged for this tribute is one of the highest honours that a woman in the Region of Waterloo can achieve — wow! I have watched these awards on the TV for the past couple of years and the thought never crossed my mind that I would be nominated for such an award. My feelings of surprise, trepidation and excitement overpowered me for a couple of seconds before I came down to earth and realised that I was much too busy to dwell on the awards and would worry about my nerves on the actual evening of this event.

On 2nd October I woke up at 5:30 in the morning, along with my husband, youngest son and daughter in order that we could drive to RIM Park, Waterloo and set up the Pink Ribbon Tent and the Survivor Tent ready for the CIBC Run For The Cure. Last year I was the keynote speaker for the Run at RIM Park and this year I was the coordinator for this entirely new concept of Pink Ribbon Tent. Breast Cancer Awareness month, I believe, is one of the most well known months and everyone seems to know that PINK and AWARENESS about breast cancer is widely advertised and talked about in the month of October. Our vision of a world without breast cancer is getting closer to a reality with all the money raised all over Canada with the CIBC Run For The Cure and other initiatives such as “THINK PINK WEEK” where everyone is encouraged to find ways to promote breast cancer awareness by arranging activities and awareness events to spread the important message about breast cancer awareness. This year the RIM Park CIBC Run For the Cure raised an amazing $314,423 towards breast cancer research. Every year at such organized events as the CIBC Run For the Cure I shed a little tear, and I shiver slightly; not only do I feel so incredibly blessed to be the survivor of breast cancer twice, my heart skips a beat when I realise just how many people do care about finding a cure for breast cancer. On the other hand how many women and men have, sadly, died from breast cancer. Such events to raise awareness about breast cancer and the important message that

… really does go a long way to making sure more people are survivors of this terrible disease. It was a gorgeous sunny day on 2nd October, everyone who attended the event had a lovely day, and when my family and I finally drove away around 12:30pm after the event we were all physically and emotionally tired and ready for a good rest. Once again I realised what a fantastic, loving close family I have who are always there to share with me my challenges, triumphs and life and without my family I know my life would be so much different!

Any one reading this who does not believe their life is wonderful, look deep inside yourself, and try to discover what is missing. Maybe you are thinking that you have tried this before, or that it is too much like hard work and you are content with second best. It is worth it, living a full and happy contented life only comes with you knowing yourself, loving yourself and believing in yourself.

We all have challenges in our lives, big ones, small ones, urgent ones, challenges that we may not care to admit to, but challenges should never be allowed to stop us living our life the way we deserve or the way we want to.

My challenges come and go, and they may set me back for a while but then I look at my wonderful family, hear the birds singing in our garden, and I look forward to another busy day where I can do something I really love and I feel truly blessed.

I have a challenge to cope with very soon; my youngest child, my daughter, is leaving for the UK and she will be gone for 6 weeks. Not only is this the first time she has gone on such a long trip so far away from us, this is the moment I realised that she is now an adult. This is the beginning of the rest of her life as an independent young lady. I think because she is my last child to “leave the nest” as they say it is a bit more difficult and the gap she will leave behind is huge. On a positive note I am delighted that she is taking this opportunity that she has worked very hard for, to travel and enjoy her freedom before she starts college.

My daughter is the wonder in my life, along with my husband and 3 sons. My life is wonderful and only I can make sure it stays like that. I try to focus on the positives in my life and even though I will miss my daughter very much I look forward to her return, the hugs and kisses and listening to her chattering on about her trip to the UK and the wonders that she experienced and the many new friends she made.

Remember, when you wake up tomorrow morning, make the first thing you think about: how wonderful your life is and what you think can lead to what really is.

Happy Mothers Day!

It is hard to believe we are into May already; this time last year I was planning my wedding to Dave and very soon it will be our 1-year anniversary.

They say time waits for no man and whoever “they” are I think they may be right! We are all guilty of ambling along thinking we have forever to fulfil our dreams and those dreams may well involve travelling the world, owning a yacht, or even being the author of our very own book.

The time to move forward with our dreams is NOW, before it is too late. Life has a tendency to get in the way of our dreams, if we let it, and we take the easier option of putting our dreams on hold rather than forging ahead.

So many people have told me in the past few weeks that their dream is to have a book published. An awful lot of people have also told me that they would love to write a book. Even more people have told me that they have actually written their book, but for some reason, 10 years later, they still have not gotten around to having their book published.

Why ever not? Yes that is the question I asked all those people too. Being perfectly honest they all told me virtually the same thing, and that is they were still thinking about getting the book published, or thinking about writing the book, but something holds them back from actually doing that.

I have taken the leap and as you are all probably aware my first book will be published very soon! For many reasons the time has not been right before now for me to follow my dream, but I came to the realization after my surgery in October of last year, that the time will never be right. If we wait for the right time we may never get the chance to pursue our dreams, follow through with our passion.

I decided to make some choices in my personal and business life which would enable me to finish writing my book and actually go through the process of having my book published. Balancing our time is very important because if we over extend ourselves and leave no time for rest or personal time we could end up feeling very stressed out and maybe upsetting family or friends. By deciding to make these choices I unfortunately had to say no to various organizations or sometimes social events in order that I could balance my schedule fairly. If I had tried to be that “superwoman” I was many years ago I doubt I would have had the energy or time to even think about my book let alone write, publish and promote it. Most of my time lately is taken up with talking to everyone and anyone about my upcoming book in order for them to take an interest in it and, maybe, buy the book because they feel there is something in my story that they may be interesting to them, or help them in some way.

I am having the time of my life, but only because of the choices I made early last year. I am promoting my book which involves talking a lot, and I do love to talk a lot especially as I am a motivational speaker. I am wearing a lot of pink, which is not only a colour I adore, but also the breast cancer foundation colour for awareness. Pink is definitely the new black again this year and my wardrobe is growing larger every day as I find new outfits that are suitable to wear when I am out and about promoting my book.

The most important thing here is that I am not only having fun, I am following my heart and my heart told me it was time to tell my story, and in order to do that I wrote my book. I did not think about writing it… I did it, and that is the message here, JUST DO IT!

I may well look “Pretty in Pink” but I decided to call my book “A Life Like Mine”. I will definitely be wearing something pink at my book launch and maybe even on the photo of me on my book cover, you never know.

The past few weeks have been particularly frustrating for me; I am of the opinion that if enough people are interested in bettering work conditions, customer service, or even the world in general it can be done. On the other hand if no one wants to take the time involved I do believe one voice can work just as well and in this case my very loud voice. When I say loud I am not in the habit of shouting loudly from the rooftops, I mean this in the sense that I use every available tool to get my message out there. Telephones, email, written letters, articles in the newspaper; so many ways to be heard and all of this takes time away from our personal and business lives, but in the end it is worth it!

Customer service, I believe is the key to many successful businesses, not just good customer service but excellent customer service. So when I am faced with a retail salesperson telling me that they just do not care about their job or doing it properly because they do not get paid enough money, then I am saddened and at the same time astonished at their attitude. When I am faced with a manager of a store making excuses as to why the stock is not out on the shelves and they are losing sales by leaving the stock in the warehouse, I feel very sorry for the person who started that business from scratch and worked hard to make it what it is today. When I speak to a switchboard operator at the end of the phone and that person is obviously bored and unhelpful and really could not care less I feel quite angry. I felt angry this morning because the place I was phoning was actually a cancer centre. Even though my frame of mind was quite happy and upbeat, what if a cancer patient who is not doing so well has to deal with someone at the end of the phone who obviously could not care less about people, let alone their job? What damage can be done by these people who seem to think the world owes them a living and they are doing us a favour; long term prospects for retail businesses that are not looking after their customers is gloomy in this ever evolving changing world.

I want to change the way things are, even if it takes me forever, I will make a difference, I am positive my one voice can achieve great things, because I care enough to try! So many people today grumble because they believe things cannot be changed for the better and would rather just moan and either shop somewhere else or put up with inferior customer service etc.

My day started out with me making one simple phone call that led me on a path of many more phone calls, emails and letter writing because I want to help the world become a better place and the worst possible scenario to this might be that even if its not better for anyone else it will certainly feel better to me! I am willing to share my better world with everyone and not feel cheated; in the beginning I set out to do something for me, because I cared enough to try, so it is a bonus if everyone else can benefit too from my one voice.