Please take a look  at my recent blog post:

http://community.telustalksbusiness.com/blogs/talk_business/2011/03/22/how-can-being-a-small-business-philanthropist-help-you

Do YOU have any tips on this blog post for me?

Comments welcome, thanks:)

It’s been a hard month or so, we have family challenges, a heavy work load and no time to breath and relax, oh yes I forgot to add we are in the process of a kitchen renovation, decorating our whole house and just keeping busy.  A lot of my work for Motivational Steps means I stand on a stage and motivate people, inspire the audience, educate them, whatever you want to call it, and I am good at what I do, I know that. Recently though it has been tough knowing in the background challenges abound, and this time they are not MY challenges, they are a family members. I find this more difficult to cope with, when they hurt I hurt, you get the idea.

I am a Libra, balancing my scales is and always will be a hard thing for me to do, in between shedding bucket loads of tears, not being able to sleep, and hovering on the edge of being a workaholic my life is crazy,enjoyable,  and I treasure every moment I am awake and usually look forward to every new day.

Even though I know challenges are a part of everyone’s life, not just mine, some challenges are more difficult to cope with than others so I am playing the waiting game, patiently, hoping as each day goes on every new day brings a brighter outlook.

I have recently been spending a lot of time at two home improvement stores in Canada: Rona and Home Depot. Like with most shopping experiences I have been through the usual challenges of not being able to find assistance when needed, and some sales assistants lack of knowledge of products not as good as I would have liked. These are the things I can just about live with and, when I shop with my long suffering husband, he prefers to take all day finding stuff for himself rather than asking for help. What I have found disturbing, and I have to admit slightly funny if I am being honest, is the different treatment 2 women shopping together get, versus a woman shopping with a man.

After 2 visits to the Home Depot with my daughter this past weekend I have never been jumped on by so many men in a store in my life,  from the guy greeting us at the door, to the guy who followed us from one end of the store to the other end, right up to the guys in the lighting department ( not sure if it was even their place to be working),these guys just wanted to *help us*. By help my choice of word would be *chat to*, or even *chat up* and hey I should feel happy that the guys included me in their attention, my daughter is lovely and young enough to enjoy this kind of attention. But, and here comes the but, a couple of things happened that stops me laughing at this experience and makes me wonder about this whole situation.

We wanted information about a light fitting and the available guys willing to help us out in the light section numbered at least 2, but unfortunately their knowledge of the products was lacking and they felt laughing and being *men* would make us feel better when our questions could not be answered. Lots of jokes, elbowing each other in the ribs, and general flirting in our direction does not constitute helpful customer service thank you!

It gets even better when we walk over to the flooring department, we were greeted by a jovial guy, who did have a knowledge of the product we were looking at but failed to offer his help when we realized how heavy the wooden flooring was and we had no cart! For the sake of my daughter I hesitated to ask the guy to go fetch us a cart, or even carry the wood for us, but I hinted. After my hints came up with no offer of help, I did suggest he could either fetch us a cart or carry the wood for us, still to no avail, but lots of laughter, which made him feel better but me hopping mad. In the typical man fashion he did point out we only had one package of very heavy wooden floor, surely we wanted more? I believe the last time I woke up I knew I could count, and I know my daughter can, so stating the obvious but not helping us carry the wood really was no help at all.

We struggled to the cash desk and here we were greeted with the usual did you find everything you needed today and did you receive enough help. I decided to share our experience with the cashier who was a female, she smiled and even giggled and I failed to see how I was entertaining her by telling her my shopping experience had not been the best. She then decided to point out to us that we only had one package of wooden flooring and did we need more? Once again I felt like my math skills were lacking and pointed out that yes we knew we only had one package of flooring.

At this point I asked that the manager of the store be told our sorry story and related once again how, twice in one week myself and my daughter had been ambushed on our walkabout through the store and offered very little actual help but could enjoy being flirted with and treated like silly females who had no idea what DIY was.

When I shop at these stores with my husband it’s like playing hide and seek to find a man to help us let alone to find more than one man willing to even talk to us, or even have a meaningful conversation about products and services.

Why am I moaning? When I shop I expect the best customer service experience, I expect knowledgeable staff ready and willing to answer my questions, and I expect to pay for that experience which I do, so all is fair. If there are guys available, ready and willing to help customers, hopefully in the future when I shop with my husband I get the attention and offers of help I got with my daughter, minus the giggling, joking and lack of knowledge of products and an offer of help if something is heavy.

I must point out that I do know females work at these stores also, but on my past two visits with my daughter, the males got to us first and here ends my sorry story.

Thanks for your email today, your offer of help was truly amazing, wonderful and really good of you, but, who are you and when did we meet? How about we chat over the phone? Hello there, this is Linda, Linda who? but you just sent me an email offering to help…now I am confused. You want to help me? Wonderful, how do you like my website? You haven’t seen my website? Which area can you help me with? You don’t know because you have no idea who I am? So how can you help me? I just did a search on Google for you you as we chatted over the phone,did you do the same? No, so do you still not know who I am?

The above might seem a strange way to start an article but believe me it was a strange conversation for me and it all started with an email and an offer to help me after someone said they met me at a networking event. I was worried, I had no business card, or memory of this person and I know I do have a bad memory sometimes for names but not that bad. I did what I normally do and decided to phone the person and sort this out because if it was my memory I had big problems.

At least I know my memory is not as bad as I thought.

We have all heard the term – gold-digger – and to some of us it may seem like a word that denotes greed, when in fact people do make a lot of money digging for gold and then selling it. The greedy gold-digger may be someone who enters into a relationship purely for the reason of gain and in some cases this has involved personal relationships too. The kind of gold-digger I am talking about has the same idea, someone searches for the gold and then, when they find it one of two things happens. They walk away not realizing the true value of the gold, or they take the opportunity to dig for the gold and keep on digging and, in some cases share their goldmine with others.

I found my goldmine many years ago when I starting building the foundations for Motivational Steps, my first business and then, for the Small Business Community Network. My budget was very small and I had to learn how to find ways to get me out into the limelight so people would get to know me and my business. I quickly latched onto the fact that there were lots of websites where you could build your own profile page and offer information about who you were, and more to the point this was offered as a free service. The least it would do, I thought to myself, was raise my exposure so more people might go take a look at my website. Then I discovered how easy it was to write articles and post the same article on all the different sites I had profiles on, and also post the same article to my blog. This made work much easier and I never felt stressed as if I had too much work to do, and again this was free so I saved money at the same time.

This was my first gold-mine, I kept digging until I found the gold I was looking for. I assessed how much gold there was for me to take, and also how much gold I was leaving behind for others. My articles offered tips, useful information and much more so that was the gold others would find when they discovered my gold-mine. My gold came in the form of people commenting on my articles, organizations looking at my website and contacting me with a view to engaging me to speak at their events. My credibility grew, more gold for me, people started recognizing my name, and eventually I realised this was indeed the gold at the end of the rainbow, and there was plenty of gold to go around!
But, and there is always a but,not everyone recognizes the benefits of these gold-mines, they take a quick look and for lots of reasons, and some could be lack of motivation, they walk away without even digging a tiny bit. What they are leaving behind are opportunities, and this is where you will find your gold,whatever that may be. I always believe if something is worth doing, you may as well do it well and secondly, if something is worth having it will not come your way easily, and you will have to work for what you want. I share my gold-mines with everyone, and it is up to them to take from what I share and do with it what they feel is right for them. What happens 99% of the time is all the gold is left for me, and even though I am not complaining, I do like to share.
I would love to read your comments and different perspectives on my article and, whether you agree with me or not, I did what I set out to do, and that is share!

I don’t have a bucket full of all the things I want to do before I die. What I do have and have always had is a desire to enjoy my life, through work and pleasure. I am passionate about change and helping others. Do I need a bucket I keep asking myself, do you know the answer?

When I was diagnosed with cancer the first time I had no money other than to pay bills, and that was not a certainty most of the time. Even though I worked 3 jobs, which paid minimum wage, I could hardly make ends meet, all of my 4 children ranging in age from 10 up to 18 had part time jobs. I remember it was Christmas Eve and I finished work early so I could go and talk to my oncologist and find out just how bad my breast cancer was and what kind of treatment I would need. Even then I did not think about wishing I could go on holiday and get away from it all, my first thought was getting rid of the cancer and being alive to take care of my children and live my life as best I could. I did get a 5 week break away from home, at the Princess Margaret Lodge in Toronto, through no choice of mine, whilst I went through my radiation treatment.

When I said I don’t have a bucket full of the things I want to do before I die, that does not mean I have no goals and needs. I want to travel more, I want to plant more flowers in my garden, I want to enjoy my family and be there for them, I want to go shopping and spend money on frivolous items. I just don’t fill up a bucket, I work towards my goals, one step at a time, and some I may never fulfill, but I will try. If I had a bucket full of the many things I would love to do before I die it would scare me, I would keep picking it up and it would feel so heavy and I would want to see it empty faster than slower. Why put this pressure on myself?

Whether you have a bucket or not, be happy with the life you have and work towards more, if more is what you want. But, remember, more is not always what you want in the end, just enough is often enough. Buckets full of things you want may weigh heavy on you and bring you down.

I don’t need a bucket after all

Please check out my recent article here http://www.telustalksbusiness.com My article is called Business Networking Lessons From The 18th Century. Thank You!

After reading an article today about how our zodiac sign may be different to what we always thought it was I was amused and at the same time realized that some of us do like the horoscope sign we have always had and, maybe it helps us define who we are?  But, if we think about this logically, we are able to change who we are, how we think, and how we conduct ourselves, from the time we are born. I am a firm believer that I am true to my horoscope, Libra, but I have been able to change some of the things that define me as a Libra. So, rather than be upset with the article, or whether we have a different zodiac sign concentrate on the good things about your personality type that you like and work with those, as an example. If there are things you don’t like set a goal to change those traits. I am “supposed” to be charming, flirtatious and love people around me, if you define me by my horoscope sign. I am charming, I do flirt now and then and I love people around me, but not all the time. If I wanted to change one of those things I would be able to, and not feel worried that because my horoscope sign said that is how I am supposed to be then it is set in stone. Life is about change, accept the changes, however small they may be into your life and work with them. Whether you are a Capricorn, as my lovely husband, DaveOJ is, or a Scorpio, as my best friend and daughter, Melissa is, people will always love you, respect you and want to be in your life if you stay true to who you are.

It is very important today more than ever to keep up appearances. What does that mean? Well, in some cases it could be as simple as me always smiling to the general public versus walking around with a grim face, no smile and always moaning about how fed up I am and how no one ever listens to me. I know for sure that when I meet someone and they stop to chat with me they prefer the motivated, smiling me versus the grumpy me. Most times when people chat with me and they know I am a motivational speaker they share with me some of their challenges and I normally leave them with a smile on their face. Saying that, obviously close friends and members of my family are people I can turn to when I am down – but they don’t pay my wages. I am in business to help people and, at the same time I make money from doing something I am passionate about. Who is going to hire a grumpy, out of touch with the real world person, who detests change and can’t keep up with the new technology and the global community? Especially if that person is hired to motivate, inspire, encourage, educate and help the audience? The answer is – no-one!

I would say over the past 5 years the world of business has changed dramatically. Not only how we now have the opportunity to work with people from all over the world and never leave our office, but also in the business networking sense also. Businesses who do not keep abreast of the changing world get left behind.

If I use me as an example, I can honestly say a lot of my success has been due to me building relationships, which lead to trust, with many people I come into contact with. I spend quite a lot of time enjoying coffee at the local Williams Coffee Pub and, even though I do not actually “make money” from a lot of those meetings, I do benefit tremendously, short and long term. Whether my trusted connections offer me referrals, sponsorship, friendship etc, I always gain and feel blessed. I never, ever, look at the people I connect with as dollar signs. I never, ever, have expectations of turning my contact into a client.  I always, without a doubt want in some way to help the people I come into contact with. Is that a waste of time and money? For me, no, for you maybe, short term. Long term, the opportunities and the choices you will encounter once you start building trusted relationships are phenomenal.

Nothing worth having comes easy. If you are in business to make a quick buck go for it, that’s just not my way. As a business development coach I get to know the person, which to me is more important than knowing the business they are in. Once I am in tune with the person and have a feel for their personality, their business ethics and many other things, that is when we turn to the business strategy. You really can’t help anyone if you don’t know WHO they are. That applies to clients also, and offering to sell me something without knowing if I need your widget can only lead to failure.

The business world is constantly changing, we have to change to keep up with the times, but only change what we feel works for us. If you discover some of the new technology or social media networking is not for you, look for ways you can survive and still build your business. Standing still and doing things the way you have always done them will lead to disaster, as will trying to be someone you are not.

Do you ever feel less than motivated after the holiday season is over and we are left with a shiny New Year? I know I do, but in particular this year more than ever. I have so much work to do, emails, meetings, writing, social media, speaking engagements, and the list goes on and on. Why bother I ask myself?

My lack of motivation lasted a few days and then I felt this tingle of anticipation, my passion returned and I felt excited and ready to go! I love my work, I love my life and I am not ready to retire yet:)

I think it is quite common to feel less than motivated at times and, if you are in a position where you do not enjoy your work that makes it even more difficult. Here are a few tips that work for me that get me going and once I am back on course  I never look back:

• Set a goal to reward yourself on your first day back at work. Whatever takes your fancy. Lunch with a friend, treat yourself to something new, or even laze around at lunch time doing nothing, whatever it is make sure it is something you want to do.
• Look at the benefits of having a job. Being able to pay the bills,. go on vacation, meet new people.
• Look at ways you can make changes in the way you work if you are not enjoying the process.
• When you wake up in the morning look in the mirror and realize how blessed you are to be able  to get out of bed, walk or drive to work and do the things you enjoy. There are people who are not able to get out of bed for health reasons. People who are lonely and have no job and feel sad.

New Years are a gift, New Years are a new beginning, enjoy your New Year!